Why Love is harder in winter

'Tis the season…that puts a huge strain on your relationship. It's time to learn how to beat the bond breakers.
Winter is full of opportunities to get close: romantic fires, holidays galore, snuggle­-friendly weather. Yet the season can be tough on your love life. According to a recent survey, couples are more than twice as likely to think about splitting between the holidays and Valentine's Day, due in part to the pressure the high ­intensity period puts on twosomes during this time. But also because scientific reasons compound that stress: "Our energy levels are lower during the cold weather, and we tend to be moodier," explains clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, PhD. "Both factors make maintaining a relationship difficult."
You can't beat Mother Nature, but you can learn to spot these pesky relationship-­killing winter symptoms and take the necessary steps to keep your bond going strong.
You're Looking for a Fight
Bitchy 'tudes have a habit of cropping up in the winter — in women and men. Being cooped up inside together for months at a time with fewer options for activities can contribute. But more important, the season's shortage of sunlight lowers our levels of the mood­-regulating neurotransmitter serotonin, says couples therapist Barton Gold smith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Intimacy. This makes you more cranky than in the summer, when most people enjoy up to 15 hours of mood­-boosting sunlight a day.
If you find yourself ready to let the nastiness fly over, well, everything, Goldsmith suggests making it a habit for you both to get outside whenever you can…even if it's only during your lunch break. Being in the sun (wearing sunscreen, of course) for a short amount of time is believed to raise both serotonin and vitamin-­D levels, which will make the two of you feel more like making love, not war.

 

Shocking Ways You're Sabotaging Your Relationship

You may be the best damn girlfriend on the planet…but if you're guilty of any of these bad habits, you could be putting your connection with your man at risk.
1. You Give and Give and Give and Give
Have you heard the one about the doting girlfriend who gave her heart to a guy for three years, only for him to say that he's not the marrying kind? And then when they break up, he turns around and proposes to some bitch (and we do mean bitch!), three months later.
"I see it all the time," confesses Randi Gunther, PhD, couples counselor, and author of the upcoming book Relationship Saboteurs (June 2010). "Women know they have the capacity to nurture and care for men, and will be extremely giving. The problem is when a woman holds it against her partner — as if she's a martyr — and the guy suddenly feels very guilty and, even worse, obligated. A man likes a bitch because she has her own agenda that isn't all about him; he likes that he's not totally responsible for her happiness."
If you enjoy being a giving person, then by all means, keep it up. Just understand that it's like putting money into a bank that has a hole on the bottom — you can't expect to cash in (say, like for a commitment from a guy). Do nice things because you want to — and don't forget to be a little selfish too.
2. You Overcommunicate
With all the Facebooking, tweeting, IMing, e-mailing, and texting going on, it might feel impossible to not communicate a lot with your boyfriend or husband, at least indirectly. But all that extraneous info about what you're doing dissolves your alluring mystery, warns Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
"I actually defriended my wife on Facebook," he admits. "We've all heard the phrase that familiarity breeds contempt, but in this age of social networking, perhaps familiarity breeds something worse: boredom."
Keep some of your mystery — and mask your mundane day-to-day life — by resisting the urge to check in with your guy constantly. And ditch all the dumb updates about what you had for breakfast. We promise you that No. One. Cares.
3. You Air All Your Frustrations to Your Friends
Admit it: A good venting sesh with your girls feels great. You get to rant about how you think your man was checking out another girl last Saturday, or how you can't believe he wants to buy a new car when he could be saving that money for an engagement ring. But constantly telling your friends your guy gripes — even the smallest stuff — can sabotage your relationship, says Gunther.
"Your friends want to support you, will sympathize with you, and won't challenge you," explains Gunther. "So then everyone comes away from the chat with the deep opinion that your boyfriend or husband is usually in the wrong."
All your bitching and moaning can have a lasting effect on how your friends feel about your guy, and eventually they'll stop supporting your relationship because they remember every last jerky thing he's done. Not good. So, bottom line? You don't have to cut the chick chat altogether…but tone it down, and be sure to tell them about the nice things he does every once in a while too. You'll feel much better about your relationship overall if you remind yourself from time to time that he's a good guy.

How to stop fight with ur boyfriend?

The Jersey Shore's Ronnie and Sammi have had some pretty nasty arguments over the past couple of seasons. And recently, they've gotten worse than usual—we're talking brutal name calling and trashing each other's stuff. Clearly, the explosive duo could use some cool-down tips. And let's be real, even if you and your man don't fight quite that intensely, it's never a bad idea to have some tricks handy for taking a blow-out down a notch. Fights do happen between even the coolest couples. Jennifer Baker, PhD, offers a few moves that'll put the breaks on when you're really going at it.
Take a 30 minute pause—as in, separate and doing other things for half an hour. Studies have shown it takes that much time to thoroughly calm down. Once you're both more chill, resume the convo and you should each be able to make your points more clearly.
Let him know you're hearing what he's saying by telling him that you think his point is valid but you feel differently. Often what escalates an argument is the impression that the other person isn't listening.
Diffuse a really heated moment by saying something light and funny. Comment on something happening in the moment, or refer to a past event that made you both laugh—it'll break the tension and allow you both to reset.
Stand with your shoulders and knees toward your guy to signal that you're invested in him, even though you're angry. The wrong body language can make a bad argument even worse—crossing your arms, tapping your foot, or rolling your eyes makes your boyfriend feel like you don't give a damn.